Strong verb choice / action verbs to bring the writing to life.
Attention to detail: Adverbs
Some beautiful phrases: Participles
NOTE: The varied syntax and the complexity of the sentences. See sentence combining section
Rain lashed against the windshield of Darcia’s navy blue car, as she drove down a deserted, one lane highway, going a little over the speed limit in her rush. Her wheels slipped a little on the wet slippery pavement, but she kept the car steady. Darcia peered through the front window trying to see what was ahead of her; it was pitch black outside, with not even one star in the night sky, and only the moon’s faint light and the small square orange lights lining the road to see by. Outside the front window, the rain was coming down in torrents, blurring Darcia’s vision even more. The windshield wipers whipped back and forth over the window, attempting to clear away the large droplets clinging to the glass – but it seemed they weren’t moving fast enough. Looking out her side window, Darcia was a little uneasy to notice that trees walled her in on both sides. Two blinding lights suddenly blazed ahead like two shining eyes trying to pierce the impenetrable darkness – and with a jolt Darcia realized that those lights belonged to a car – a car that was speeding towards her from the opposite direction, but in her lane. Again Darcia’s eyes took in the wall of trees on either side – she had no room to veer either right or left out of the oncoming vehicle’s way. She slammed on her brakes and turned the car so the passenger’s side was to the oncoming car. The sound of her car’s screeching brakes and tires skidding on the wet pavement shattered the immense silence that had been pressing in on Darcia all night. Suddenly, as her car spun out of control towards the oncoming car, images flashed across Darica’s mind - images of her family and friends and clips of her life flashing past like a slideshow that was sped up. A huge blow hit the car, and it seemed like an immense weight was thrown on Darcia; the last thing she saw was a waterfall of glass cascading down on her before everything went black, and the immense weight was lifted off her as she seemed to float away into complete and utter darkness.
