- strong choice of action verbs
- attention to detail (adjective and adverbs)
- varied syntax: prep phrases to introduce sentences, appositives & participles. One of the focuses of this assignment was to vary syntax by employing these three strategies.
Destined for an early grave, the once mighty yacht struggled against the pounding surf and howling wind. The stained mainsail flapped loosely in the wind. In front, the jib, only partially raised due to the storm, filled with wind and forced the ship further out to sea. The hull, navy and white, bore a two metre rip created by an unseen reef. Litres of briny water flowed freely through the puncture and filled the hold, soaking the supplies.
The crew, two men and one women on a chartered vacation, prepared to abandon their ill-fated vessel. George Watkins ,a 28 year old accountant from Edmonton, was frantically sending out distress signals, using the onboard radio. Behind him, on the deck, the other two,Gordon Carrie and Larissa Compbell, struggled valiantly to inflate the portable life raft in the gale force winds. The ice cold waters of the Juan de Fuca Strait rose steadily inside the cabin, sweeping pots and pans from the safety of the cupboards. George abandoned the radio and scrambled for the deck as frigid waves crashed into the cockpit of the swamped vessel. Panicked, the crew decided to take their chances in the now inflated life raft.
an anonymous grade 10
